Ribbons

There had to a good reason why he had a blue ribbon tied around his... erm... part but since Jack was the only person available to explain it, Will didn't want to know. He especially didn't want an explanation for the ruffly pink bloomers knotted 'round his waist to keep his breeches up nor did he wish to become enlightened on the presence of a goat in the room. Will couldn't remember a thing about last night and he was happy. He was deliriously delighted that he knew nothing about the scimitars embedded in the middle of the ceiling. He was positively merry that he could not explain the pile of half-eaten pawpaws currently collecting flies in his boots. He was determinedly, madly, ecstatically jolly that he remained in the dark about the damned. Blue. Ribbon.

Jack leered "Like that ribbon?"

Will groaned and shut the world out by using his extraordinary talent in lowering his eyelids over his eyeballs and thinking of Elizabeth blessedly devoid of all ribbons, blue or no.

"Funny story about that ribbon."

"No, Jack."

"Don't suppose you remember?"

"No, Jack."

"I could tell--"

"NO. JACK."

Jack pouted. "Then, I suppose you wouldn't want to know where they tied the red one."