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Opinion

The Mutant Problem

Published: July 19, 2015


 

Jubilee

 

Jubilee is a lot like those little firecrackers available only Halloween; once you light it up, it jumps around and makes noise. Jubilee couldn't sit still, her conversation frequently jumped topics and she had the annoying habit of cracking her gum.

"So, like, there are always cheap processed stuff at home, right, which is totally bad for you but I guess if you're serving a whole school, you can't really buy organics in bulk even though I'm sure we could totally support the organic farming industry. Mutants eat a lot, y'know, like a LOT; I'm so not even exaggerating. We burn energy like whoa because, hello, super powers! Supereating has to be a superpower, right? I'm so sure one of the guys is like that 'cause he's, like, six-foot-three and a hundred pounds sopping wet. That or he has worms. Did you hear about that guy in South Africa that has a pair of intelligent worms living in his stomach? Now that's totally gross, don't you think? I mean, what the hell, worms?! What can you do with that?"

Just to throw the conversation into some type of order, I ask her what she wanted to do with life.

"I'm just serving and bartending for now, y'know the usual. When I get enough cash, I'll either hire an agent or go to acting school."

My girlfriend is an actress so I asked her for her contact information. Jubilee squealed and nearly strangled me with a hug.

 

Introduction: The Mutant Problem

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