Skip to article

Opinion

The Mutant Problem

Published: July 19, 2015


 

Warren

 

What Warren hates the most about his wings is how long they take to groom. Actually, that's the only thing he hates about his wings.

"The little barbs hold on to dirt like you wouldn't believe. If I don't clean them at least every three days, they smell like the boys' locker in high school. And white is the most ridiculous color for wings. I mean, yeah, it goes with anything, but I shed down all over my suits. It's worse than having a pet. "

You don't learn wing-grooming in kindergarten. Warren learned through internet research and trial-and-error. His shower is ten feet by ten feet with multiple shower heads. He uses a gallon of shampoo a month and orders a special oil for conditioning.

"Go ahead and touch them if you want," he said.

I did but very carefully. There was something a little too intimate about it. They were sharper than I imagined although I guessed the downy parts higher and on the inside of the wing would have a different texture. I asked him if he could feel that touch.

"Kind of. It's like hair, really more of a tickle than an actually touch."

Just because it was so obvious, I asked him how he put on his shirts. Warren laughed.

"I get someone to adjust them for the wings. Usually, they just make a flap that I can button or zip closed. Okay, so maybe the shirts are also a pain. But grooming is definitely the worst."

 

Introduction: The Mutant Problem

Click the images below for more in this article

   
Cast &
Credits

Inside NYTimes.com

N.Y. / Region
Fantastic Couple Renews Their Vows
Fantastic Couple Renew Their Vows
Opinion
If Marijuana Is Legal, Will Addiction Rise?
If Marijuana Is Legal, Will Addiction Rise?
Arts
Caravaggio at the Met
Caravaggio at the Met
Opinion

The Mutant Problem

As a starving student, Peter Parker took a job photographing "the mutant problem." More than ten years later, his definition of "the problem" has changed.

U.S.
Daredevil Sightings Increase
Daredevil Sightings Increase
World
The Hulk Leaves Descrution in Its Wake
The Hulk Leaves Destruction in Its Wake