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Opinion

The Mutant Problem

Published: July 19, 2015


 

Madrox

 

If I had to choose a guy I want to watch football in a bar with, it would be Madrox. He has a hilarious quip for every person who crosses his path. "It comes from having to talk to yourself a lot."

"Yeah, like you're a good conversationalist," said a second Madrox. "Tell me again how you tried to pick up that girl last week?"

"Can we not and say we did?" a third Madrox chimed in. "I'm still trying to get those salsa stains out of my pants."

Madrox is a sports geek. He can rattle off best batting averages in the past fifty years and theories why they've been declining since the sixties (apparently, it has something to do with changes in how batting averages are calculated, not necessarily the talent of the players). He's also the only many-generations-American guy I know who deeply cares what goes on in the World Cup of Soccer. He cheers for South Korea.

"They came out of no where and wailed on the old timers' asses the first time they qualified. You gotta respect that."

 

Introduction: The Mutant Problem

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